Anticiplate

Yes. Hello. It is actually me. You are not dreaming. I am now back to work as a ballerina, ‘Staging’ one day a week at the restaurant, and finally cooking in my kitchen. Well, at least this current kitchen.

It has been months, it feels, since I have cooked a proper meal. I’ve changed so much this summer, I can hardly recognize myself in the mirror. And, no, I am not talking about my chubby cheeks (and ass) from too many Peroni’s and Tequila Sunrises. That is a whole different issue.  I am a triple-grande-Americano drinking, soon-to-be-downtown dweller, that stays up later than midnight, and runs three miles pretty frequently. I am not the same person I was at the beginning of this summer when all of this madness started.

And thank goodness. I like myself better now.

I have new weapons: A Mac Chef’s knife I adore but am scared to sharpen on my steel, three new cookbooks I can’t get enough of as I flip through their pages of recipes and methods, and a knowledge of food and cooking that I never dreamed I could learn so quickly.

I make homemade veggie stock, soak green lentils before I cook them, and saute fish in a pan, rather than in parchment paper. I am living on the edge…

Going back to work is a shocker. I feel like I am cheating on the restaurant, my new love, and I yearn to be two places at once. Each day I am not there, I think of the tidbits of information I am missing, and all the dishes I do not get to see the chefs create first hand. It is torture. Luckily, I have only been working about 1 hour a day, as we prepare for a tour in Massachusetts (my birthplace) for a week. So, I have time to focus on writing, cooking, and photographing. But, again, another week of no cooking.

All I can do to settle my soul is to bring what I learn at the restaurant into my own kitchen as often as I can. As I flip through the Giorgio Locatelli cookbook, one of my new weapons, I sense a familiar flavor palate and concept behind the food. It is as if the restaurant I work at is coming to life, and the recipe have been documented for me to study.

As I cook, I savor moments of silence alone in my kitchen. I finely dice vegetables as if I am running down a huge flight of stairs: meditative and consistent. I fill huge pots of water for stock, and listen to the sounds of the water and vegetables coming to boil to create a sweet dark juice. I season my fresh fish from the market with kosher salt  and cracked black pepper, as I wait for my grapeseed oil to smoke. Hours go by, and I feel like it has been minutes.

I am so happy to be alone again in my kitchen, and to be back with all of you.

Serves 4

Prep time: 1 hour

Cook time: 1 hour

1/2 bunch of flat leaf parsley, leaves and stems

1 small garlic clove

5 anchovy filets

lemon zest (from half of a lemon)

1/3 c. olive oil plus more for drizzling

4 large ling cod filets, preferably with skin on (6 oz.)

3 tbsp. grapeseed oil

Kosher salt and cracked black pepper

For the lentils:

1 1/3 c. green lentils

1 small white onion

1 carrot

1 celery stalk

1 small leek, white part only

4 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

3 1/2 oz. piece of pancetta, frozen in the freezer on a plate, and finely diced

Sprig of rosemary

Small bunch of sage

2 bay leaves

6 c. homemade vegetable stock (saute leftover veggies in a pot, fill with water, bring to boil, simmer for 20 min, and strain)

Handful of picked flat leaf parsley leaves, minced

3 1/2 tbsp. butter, preferably Plugra, cut into small cubes

Soak the lentils in water for 30 minutes, then drain, while you are finely chopping your vegetables. Add 1 tbsp. olive oil to a big saute pan. Saute the vegetables and pancetta on medium-high until the vegetables have sweat and are soft, but not colored, about 5 minutes. Add the lentils together with the herbs (bundled with kitchen twine) and cook for 5 minutes.

When the lentils stick to the bottom of the pan add 4 c. of homemade vegetable stock, or enough to cover the lentils by 1 inch. Bring the lentils to a boil, and then lower the heat to a simmer for 45 minutes. Add more stock if the lentils get dry.

Put the parsley, anchovies, zest, and garlic in a food processor with a good pinch of kosher salt. Slowly drizzle in the olive oil until it makes a thin sauce.

Season the fish with salt and pepper. Heat a non-stick skillet over high heat with the grapeseed oil. Put the fish, skin side down, in the pan and press it down to create a crust. When the skin is crispy and golden brown, and the flesh turns opaque, flip it over.

Make sure the lentils are cooked through, and loosen them with more veggie stock. Add the chopped parsley and butter and season with salt.

Spoon the lentils on to your plates or wide bowls. Drizzle the parsley sauce around. Nestle the fish on top of the lentils and drizzle with a little extra virgin olive oil.

We served this with an heirloom tomato salad and a cold glass of crisp Rose.